ASK JOKER - Page 2

joker · 12-15-2008, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greydog

If a pigs ass is pork, when he sits on it does it become pressed ham???

grey dog, pressed ham is made from pork leg pieces, so - no.

fyi, this is also pressed ham

pepper · 12-15-2008, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joker

long answer:
if you take into account water displacement (which, by the way, is what the WD in WD-40 stands for - the 40 refers to the 40th try to get the formula right), along with average deviation of the caloric content of beans, and the degrees of freedom (assumed to be n-1), then you would also need to calculate correlation coefficient of the tortilla (dependent on flour or corn) and figure the regression toward the mean, most notably utilizing either the z score or chi square to in a plotted histogram.
further, an asymptotic relationship presumably exists between lettuce and the consumer choice of meat product, and the cohort effect should be taken into account.
lastly, since we are using multivariate statistics, we should also incorporate eigenvalues.

short answer:
13.5 pounds US, and that's a load of shit.

Why thank you very much, I though it was just me when it started coming out over the edges.....

joker · 12-15-2008, 04:13 PM

i'm here to help.

Rivari · 12-15-2008, 05:37 PM

Ya just gotta love the cut of Joker's jib, funny fcker.

How do you cure this?

Odd Job · 12-15-2008, 06:16 PM

hell..I can answer that one RIV...called Grecian Formula

works on both upstaris and the basement!

Bum · 12-15-2008, 09:54 PM

Joker,should this thread be a sticky? Or should it be its own forum?

joker · 12-15-2008, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rivari

Ya just gotta love the cut of Joker's jib, funny fcker.

How do you cure this?

stop fcking green wimmins ... dammit jim, i'm a doctor

joker · 12-15-2008, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bum

Joker,should this thread be a sticky? Or should it be its own forum?

bum, it will only be a sticky if you crank one off the end. but technically this thread shouldn't even really exist. i'm surprised the mods have let it go as far as it has ... sk8 must not be near a computer yet - either that or he's still googly-eyed over all his new harley shirts.

Dax · 12-16-2008, 08:57 AM

After cranking one off the end, I realized that I did indeed have a question that's been nagging me since I was a child. Now I will finally get an answer from the wisest of sages. Wow!

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

greydog · 12-16-2008, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dax

After cranking one off the end, I realized that I did indeed have a question that's been nagging me since I was a child. Now I will finally get an answer from the wisest of sages. Wow!

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

Or..how much ground can a groundhog grind??? And...if it takes a chicken and a half, a day and a half, to lay an egg and a half how long will it take a peg leg monkey to stomp the seeds out of a dill pickle??? These are things I ponder...but only when I'm smokin'

Papa S · 12-16-2008, 09:30 AM

Joker,
Enough with the trivial questions.... Mine is important!

Why?

Odd Job · 12-16-2008, 10:19 AM

Joker....

How does one stop getting wedgies???

joker · 12-16-2008, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dax

After cranking one off the end, I realized that I did indeed have a question that's been nagging me since I was a child. Now I will finally get an answer from the wisest of sages. Wow!

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

you mean, of course, if a woodchuck COULD chuck wood? and assuming a woodchuck could chuck wood, what kind of timeframe are we talking about? also, what kind of wood? ash, oak, cherry, plywood? and don't forget the fact that just because a woodchuck COULD chuck wood, does not necessarily mean it WOULD chuck wood.
if it did chuck, a woodchuck could chuck approximately .304 cords of unfinished western maple / hour.

joker · 12-16-2008, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greydog

Or..how much ground can a groundhog grind??? And...if it takes a chicken and a half, a day and a half, to lay an egg and a half how long will it take a peg leg monkey to stomp the seeds out of a dill pickle??? These are things I ponder...but only when I'm smokin'

dear greydog,
stop smokin'.

Dax · 12-16-2008, 10:34 AM

Well from your wise answer, it sounds like that IF a woodchuck COULD chuck wood, that he'd chuck all the wood that a woodchuck could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood. I was thinking mahogany, but I can derive that amount by exponentially equivocating your western maple revelation. Thanks so much for clearing up this age old question.

joker · 12-16-2008, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Papa S

Joker,
Enough with the trivial questions.... Mine is important!

Why?

Now here is a little peninsula, and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Why a duck?
I'm alright, how are you? I say, here is a little peninsula, and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Alright, why a duck?
I'm not playing "Ask Me Another," I say that's a viaduct.
Alright! Why a duck? Why that...why a duck? Why a no chicken?
Well, I don't know why a no chicken; I'm a stranger here myself. All I know is that it's a viaduct. You try to cross over there a chicken and you'll find out why a duck.
When I go someplace I just...
It's...It's deep water, that's why a duck. It's deep water.
That's why a duck...
Look...look, suppose you were out horseback riding and you came to that stream and you wanted to ford over...You couldn't make it, it's too deep!
Well, why do you want with a Ford if you gotta horse?
Well, I'm sorry the matter ever came up. All I know is that it's a viaduct.
Now look, alright, I catch ona why a horse, why a chicken, why a this, why a that...I no catch ona why a duck.
I was only fooling...I was only fooling. They're gonna build a tunnel there in the morning. Now is that clear to you?
Yes, everything excepta why a duck.

joker · 12-16-2008, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odd Job

Joker....

How does one stop getting wedgies???

OJ, stop going into high school locker rooms.

joker · 12-16-2008, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dax

Well from your wise answer, it sounds like that IF a woodchuck COULD chuck wood, that he'd chuck all the wood that a woodchuck could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood. I was thinking mahogany, but I can derive that amount by exponentially equivocating your western maple revelation. Thanks so much for clearing up this age old question.

when converting the chucking rate from western maple to mahogany (though a woodchuck chucking mahogany is inconceivable) don't forget to incorporate the moisture content of said mahogany (which is dependent as you know on surrounding air temp and humidity), you'll most likely want to obtain the equilibrium moisture content before proceeding.

Odd Job · 12-16-2008, 10:51 AM

Joker,

if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does the falling tree still make a sound??

joker · 12-16-2008, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odd Job

Joker,

if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does the falling tree still make a sound??

poor unelightened oj ... i have never heard a tree, falling or otherwise, make a sound. being inanimate, and unable to move and therefor unable to create vibration, it could not possibly make a sound, as no inanimate object can.
although once, i thought a i heard a burning bush call out to someone named moses, but since that's not my name i paid no heed.

Odd Job · 12-16-2008, 10:27 PM

Joker,

Two questions this time ole enlightened one...............

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

joker · 12-16-2008, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odd Job

Joker,

Two questions this time ole enlightened one...............

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

OJ, good to see you've finally gotten over your infatuation with dogs ...

1: a peanut sat on a railroad track, his heart was all aflutter!
along came the choo-choo train, whoo, whoo, peeeeanut butter!

2: not if the noisy tree falls on him first.

Papa S · 12-17-2008, 09:02 AM

Joker,
Why is Oddjob interested in Oprah?

Odd Job · 12-17-2008, 09:15 AM

PapaS...I can answer that one...that rich bitch can by me more Harleys that I could ever want!

JOKER,

In the Wizard of OZ....the Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get?

joker · 12-17-2008, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Papa S

Joker,
Why is Oddjob interested in Oprah?

papa, you're queries never cease to fascinate (unlike OJ's queeries).
OJ is NOT interested in Oprah. he does, however, secretly watch recorded episodes of 'automan' and '90210'

joker · 12-17-2008, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odd Job

In the Wizard of OZ....the Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get? [/b]

jerry maren, who was the head munchkin on the set of the 1939 movie "the wizard of oz", said the "little people" were paid $50 per week for a 6-day work week, while toto the dog received $125 per week.

in the 1978 'remake', toto was the only character who was not black, didn't get paid at all - and had to spend each night on the set in michael jackson's trailer.

Odd Job · 12-17-2008, 11:22 AM

Joker,

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

joker · 12-17-2008, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odd Job

Joker,

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

there you go back to animals again, except this time you're making a sandwich. maybe you should go back to work ...

Odd Job · 12-17-2008, 11:33 AM

Joker...you were once in the financial world..answer me this ole intelligent one..

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

joker · 12-17-2008, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odd Job

Joker...you were once in the financial world..answer me this ole intelligent one..

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

last i heard riv has it - he keeps it mixed in his kitty litter box and sometimes uses it to pay his male gigolo marketing costs.