5 min management course........
LESSON 1:
>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
>when they find an antique oil lamp.
>They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you
>just one wish.'
>'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas,
>driving a speedboat, without a care in the world..' Poof! She's gone.
>'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on
>the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the
>love of my life.' Poof! He's gone.
>'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want
>those two back in the office after lunch.'
>MORAL OF THE STORY:
>Always let your boss have the first say.
>LESSON 2:
>An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
>A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
> The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
>So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden,
>a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>MORAL OF THE STORY:
>To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
>LESSON 3:
>A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the
>top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
>'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. It's
>full of nutrients.'
>The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength
>to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
>Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the
>tree.
>He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
>MORAL OF THE STORY:
>Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...
>LESSON 4:
>A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
>froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
>While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
>As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how
>warm he was.
>The dung was actually thawing him out!
>He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing
>cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. ..
>Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
>and promptly dug him out and ate him.
>MORAL OF THE STORY:
>(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
>(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
>(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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GOOD ONE!!
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